Weight Loss Stats and Measurements

This is a record of my weight loss (W) and inches lost (I) post-op:

Starting weight before surgery: 322.0 lb. Prior to surgery I lost 22lbs.

Weight on day of surgery: 300.0 lb

Starting weight after surgery: 312.0 (often times you will gain weight while in the hospital due to i.v. fluids and gas pumped into the abdomen.)

Total weight loss to date is 74.3 pounds, which includes 10lbs lost pre-op. The record below is of post-op weight loss only.

Month 1 (Jan. 2012)~ -30lbs lost (W), Did not take measurements at this point.

Month 2 (Feb. 2012)~ -10.2lbs lost (W), -16 inches lost total from arms, bust, hips, waist, thighs and neck (I)

Monday, January 23, 2012

Cry, Cry, Cry!

I promised to share the good, the bad and the ugly. Well, right now I am in the middle of some ugly emotional turmoil. The emotional aspects of having this surgery are not suprising to me but they are much more difficult than I anticipated. First off it is taking me longer to recuperate than I thought. I am still very tired and one of my incisions is still sore. I don't feel like doing much of anything because I just don't have the physical energy. The doctor tells me this is normal but it is still difficult to deal with. Not to be too dramatic, but it feels like I am missing out on alot. I have to remind myself that this is only temporary!

In terms of eating, it is just so hard to wrap my brain around eating 1-2ounces of food. I want to eat and then I sit down to these extremely tiny portions and I feel so abnormal. In other words I am angry that in order to have some control over my food addiction, I have to once again be different than everyone else. What normal person eats 1-2 ounces of food? I have always felt different from others and this is just another way that I am set apart. My choice in how much I eat has been taken away and I am mad about it! I guess I am feeling like "why me", hence my post title "Cry, Cry, Cry". I having been crying all morning. Ultimately I know I made the right decision for myself, but I guess I have to take this emotional journey to accept the situation as it is. I was headed for an early death at the weight I was. I have to take and maintain control of my health! There is no turning back. The larger portion of my stomach is gone and I have to accept that, along with the responsibility for allowing myself to become super morbidly obese in the first place.

I know I will look back on this post and realize that it was necessary for me to cry and to be angry in order to heal and face my fabulous future...til next time!


  1. I'm so sorry that you have to go through all of this emotional pain and fatigue. It sure sounds difficult. Hang in there Tracy!

  2. Trace you have truly tugged at my heart and made me CRY. You are a strong and wise woman, but I am quite aware "they too cry". Sorry you have to go through this; but hope you realize you are over the biggest hurdle by choosing your health over early death. Hang in there my dear neice; you have a great support system and God is an awesome God. Love you. Aunt Myrna

  3. Hi Tracy,
    Auntie Helen here again, you & I spoke via email as well and you know that I'm feeling for you strongly, but truly admire your bravery, honesty and endudrance. We both know that as tough as this is right now, this too shall pass. You are amazing and incredible...and it's "OK" to Cry. Crying cleanses the soul and you're Joy will cometh in the morning. Angels are watching over you every minute and as you stated, you will heal and have a fabulous future to look forward to as I do for you as well. Loving you with prayers and May God bless and keep you in his care.

  4. Trace as your Mom, I have cried many times and I CRY again. I did raise you but I did not give you all the strenght, honesty and courage you have today. When you hurt, I hurt but I know I can't help fight this one for you. Knowing it will get better does not help this journey at this time, BUUUT I will say it truly gets much better. God has blessed me many times, and as my child, the mother of my grandchildren, the Woman that you are, he has you also in "HIS ARMS". If Love could make this any easier, Oh, how easy life would be for those who are so much loved as You. Just think of the good ole shopping days we will share.I know, the tabs on me. LOL Mom

  5. Food addiction is the hardest addiction. You can tell a junkie not to do drugs. You can tell a drunk not to drink. You can't tell a food addict not to eat! :-( Hugs!

  6. I pray for your strength, comfort and joy as you go through this journey. Keep your thoughts on ALL the many benefits and all the great time and beautiful days ahead for you and your kids and grandkids. You are doing what it takes right now to make sure your are here for them, and that you are strong and healthy. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Love & blessings. Necie