Milestones

Things have been quite exciting since my last post!  I finally understand why there are many people "addicted" to shopping...let me explain.  I have never liked shopping for clothing.  Shopping was an exercise in futility and I absolutely shopped out of necessity.  I really had no understanding of my girlfriends who loved looking at clothes and shoes or why they enjoyed trying things on for hours.  I loathed shopping because for me the things to choose from were VERY limited.  I was confined to shopping in plus size stores and I had gotten to the point where I couldn't even shop in the more fashionable plus size stores because the way I am proportioned I could never find tops that would fit comfortably over my large arms. I could only shop at Catherine's for tops. Why window shop and look at the latest fashions when I couldn't wear them?  I am happy to say that my outlook has changed!

I have lost 50.2lbs to date and it was getting to the point that my clothes were hanging off of me because they were too big.  I kept procrastinating about going clothes shopping and after exploring why I was hesitating I realized that I was fearful of what my experience would be.  I know that sounds silly, but you have to remember that shopping was NEVER fun for me and was always a chore.  I would be frustrated and hot trying on item after item that did not fit.  I would often take 10 items into the dressing room and come out with nothing...talk about depressing!!  Well, I sucked it up and went shopping by myself and boy oh boy did I have a blast!!  I was sore for 2 days after my shopping trip as I shopped for almost 4 hours!

I was happy to discover that I had dropped from a size 26/28 in jeans to a size 22 and from a 4x in yoga style pants to a 1x!!  I dropped from a 5x in a zip up jacket to a 1x jacket and I can now wear 2x and 1x tops where I used to wear a 4x to fit across my bust and around my arms.  I actually thought something was wrong with the original pair of yoga pants I was trying on because I couldn't fathom dropping to a 1x, which I have actually never worn because I skipped from wearing regular sizes to a 2x in my last year of high school.  Well, once I realized that I could fit these new sizes I started crying in the dressing room.  My brain went crazy and I started thinking of all of the places I could now shop for clothes (can you say...shopping addict in the making, LOL).  I left Catherine's Plus Size store and went to Target where I recalled that last summer I tried to buy a 4x top from there and I couldn't even get it over my head.  I am happy to say that I left Target with 3 new tops and 2 new pair of capris!!  I have since been to so many other stores it isn't even funny.  This shopping experience was a major positive milestone for me, MAJOR!!

My other wonderful experience and milestone was when I reached 50lbs lost as of today.  I have lost 50lbs before and I obviously gained it back or else I wouldn't be here having lost it again.  However there are differences this time.  First and foremost, I am not starving or feeling deprived.  This is huge as I always dieted before while hanging on by the skin of my teeth.  I am full and fulfilled when I go to bed at night.  Secondly, I have and will continue to use this journey as a chance to get to know myself.  I have never put myself first or thought myself worthy of the attention that I have been giving myself these last few weeks.  I now realize that I deserve to be happy and not living behind the big wall of obesity.  Being overweight has robbed me of so many experiences and I have finally made the choice to work on claiming my life back and living it to the fullest.  I hate that I wasted so many years being sad about this and mad about that.  My new motto is "LOVE LIFE"!!  Here's to milestones, a happy life and introspection!! Check out my recent photos...Til Next Time!