I am so excited that I am now feeling a bit better. I realize that I will have good days and bad days, and that is ok! It appears that some swelling has gone down in my sleeve (new stomach)as I am up to 2 full ounces of food with no discomfort...woohoo!! I am up to about 400 calories per day which includes 2 protein shakes that have 15 grams of protein each. The shakes are 100 calories, lactose free Muscle Milk Shakes. But on to the "good stuff"!
Thanks to advice given to me by a good friend, I am choosing to focus on what I can eat rather than what I can't. Sounds simple enough but I wasn't doing that. I have been focused on what is missing or gone from my meals and that type of thinking will not help me reach my goal. I have been on a mission to be creative with what I choose to eat. One of my favorites is shrimp with a dash of cocktail sauce. I am on the puree stage of my post op eating plan and I made sure with the dietician that shrimp was an acceptable protein choice at this point and it is definitely ok as long as its run through the blender. I simply take two tiger prawn shrimp and puree them with about a teaspoon of cocktail sauce...ahh, seafood heaven!! For those that don't know me well, seafood is my absolute favorite food.
Next I got a big burst of flavor from Progresso Soup's Chicken Tuscany with a teaspoon of sour cream. The soup was rich and bursting with flavor. I know some of you will say "yuck" to my nect favorite, but I have been eating sardines every day; no bones of course. They are very flavorful and I do absolutely nothing to them; I eat them right out of the can! Last but not least are refried beans with a tablespoon of queso cheese or chili with a tablespoon of queso both run through the blender of course; each of these taste like nacho dip...yum!
Flavor is the key! I grew up in a household where my Mom cooked with a lot of spices. Food was always well seasoned, so bland food jsut doesn't work for me. My mission is to create and eat things that are full of flavor and that resemble dishes I loved in the past. I am really going to work on taking the focus away from how much I am eating and turn it to what I am eating in terms of how it is prepared and seasoned. After all, it's all about the flavor!!...til next time
Friday, January 27, 2012
Monday, January 23, 2012
Cry, Cry, Cry!
I promised to share the good, the bad and the ugly. Well, right now I am in the middle of some ugly emotional turmoil. The emotional aspects of having this surgery are not suprising to me but they are much more difficult than I anticipated. First off it is taking me longer to recuperate than I thought. I am still very tired and one of my incisions is still sore. I don't feel like doing much of anything because I just don't have the physical energy. The doctor tells me this is normal but it is still difficult to deal with. Not to be too dramatic, but it feels like I am missing out on alot. I have to remind myself that this is only temporary!
In terms of eating, it is just so hard to wrap my brain around eating 1-2ounces of food. I want to eat and then I sit down to these extremely tiny portions and I feel so abnormal. In other words I am angry that in order to have some control over my food addiction, I have to once again be different than everyone else. What normal person eats 1-2 ounces of food? I have always felt different from others and this is just another way that I am set apart. My choice in how much I eat has been taken away and I am mad about it! I guess I am feeling like "why me", hence my post title "Cry, Cry, Cry". I having been crying all morning. Ultimately I know I made the right decision for myself, but I guess I have to take this emotional journey to accept the situation as it is. I was headed for an early death at the weight I was. I have to take and maintain control of my health! There is no turning back. The larger portion of my stomach is gone and I have to accept that, along with the responsibility for allowing myself to become super morbidly obese in the first place.
I know I will look back on this post and realize that it was necessary for me to cry and to be angry in order to heal and face my fabulous future...til next time!
In terms of eating, it is just so hard to wrap my brain around eating 1-2ounces of food. I want to eat and then I sit down to these extremely tiny portions and I feel so abnormal. In other words I am angry that in order to have some control over my food addiction, I have to once again be different than everyone else. What normal person eats 1-2 ounces of food? I have always felt different from others and this is just another way that I am set apart. My choice in how much I eat has been taken away and I am mad about it! I guess I am feeling like "why me", hence my post title "Cry, Cry, Cry". I having been crying all morning. Ultimately I know I made the right decision for myself, but I guess I have to take this emotional journey to accept the situation as it is. I was headed for an early death at the weight I was. I have to take and maintain control of my health! There is no turning back. The larger portion of my stomach is gone and I have to accept that, along with the responsibility for allowing myself to become super morbidly obese in the first place.
I know I will look back on this post and realize that it was necessary for me to cry and to be angry in order to heal and face my fabulous future...til next time!
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Serving Spoons and Dancing Tacos
Ok, the last 14 days have taken me on such an emotional roller coaster! Let's start out with the stats...I have lost 25lbs since coming home 10 days ago (I gained 15 in the hospital; they pump alot of fluid into you and air into the abdomen for the surgery). Total I have lost over 32lbs! My winter coat is too big, my favorite pair of jeans are baggy and my jogging clothes are swallowing me up. I had to get new underwear in a size smaller than I used to wear and now my bra is too big. Trust me, I am not complaining one bit! However, I would be lying if I said that my head isn't lagging behind the physical changes that I am experiencing.
When I first came home from the hospital I really and I mean really struggled with what many call "head hunger". I was not physically hungry but my mind was insisting that I was. This was a very strange place to be in. It was so difficult to know that my family was having taco night and I couldn't join them (I had to follow a liquid diet for several days post surgery). On another occasion my Mom sent spaghetti over for dinner and I literally spent 10 or more minutes in the kitchen talking myself out of licking a serving spoon that had spaghetti sauce on it...for the record I have NEVER licked a serving spoon in my life!! It was starting to become real apparent to me how addicted to food I really am. It is like the food had to be taken away from me to get clear insight as to what to do mentally to begin tackling the challenge ahead of me. Things got so difficult from a mental standpoint that I began having dreams about dancing tacos begging me to eat them, LOL!
To help cope with the emotional aspects of this journey I have begun journaling my feelings each day. I also allow myself to just really sit with my feelings...if I need to cry, I cry. Everything gets better with time and I am allowing myself the time I need to better myself. I have spent so much of my life energy thinking about others, what they think and how to keep them happy. All the while neglecting myself, my wants and needs. I am now a priority in my own eyes and I am going to work hard to keep it that way! Last, but definitely not least, prayer and believing that GOD has got my back has gotten me through the last 14 days!!
Currently I am feeling pretty good. I still have some minor pain at the largest incision site and MAJOR fatigue. The fatigue keeps me from feeling like doing much, however I did venture out last night with my husband for a tea at Starbucks and to the grocery store to grab a few items. I am currently on the puree stage of my post op plan. This stage is so much better than the liquid stage as there are more options to choose from. In a couple of weeks I will move to the soft food stage where food choices will more closely resemble a normal diet. I am able to drink fluids comfortably and I have experienced no vomitting, thank you Lord! Overall, I am happy with my choice to be sleeved and I am looking forward to what the future holds!
When I first came home from the hospital I really and I mean really struggled with what many call "head hunger". I was not physically hungry but my mind was insisting that I was. This was a very strange place to be in. It was so difficult to know that my family was having taco night and I couldn't join them (I had to follow a liquid diet for several days post surgery). On another occasion my Mom sent spaghetti over for dinner and I literally spent 10 or more minutes in the kitchen talking myself out of licking a serving spoon that had spaghetti sauce on it...for the record I have NEVER licked a serving spoon in my life!! It was starting to become real apparent to me how addicted to food I really am. It is like the food had to be taken away from me to get clear insight as to what to do mentally to begin tackling the challenge ahead of me. Things got so difficult from a mental standpoint that I began having dreams about dancing tacos begging me to eat them, LOL!
To help cope with the emotional aspects of this journey I have begun journaling my feelings each day. I also allow myself to just really sit with my feelings...if I need to cry, I cry. Everything gets better with time and I am allowing myself the time I need to better myself. I have spent so much of my life energy thinking about others, what they think and how to keep them happy. All the while neglecting myself, my wants and needs. I am now a priority in my own eyes and I am going to work hard to keep it that way! Last, but definitely not least, prayer and believing that GOD has got my back has gotten me through the last 14 days!!
Currently I am feeling pretty good. I still have some minor pain at the largest incision site and MAJOR fatigue. The fatigue keeps me from feeling like doing much, however I did venture out last night with my husband for a tea at Starbucks and to the grocery store to grab a few items. I am currently on the puree stage of my post op plan. This stage is so much better than the liquid stage as there are more options to choose from. In a couple of weeks I will move to the soft food stage where food choices will more closely resemble a normal diet. I am able to drink fluids comfortably and I have experienced no vomitting, thank you Lord! Overall, I am happy with my choice to be sleeved and I am looking forward to what the future holds!
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
I did it!!
I am officially sleeved! I had my weight loss surgery on Jan. 5th along with a small hernia repair. I came through the surgery just fine and spent two days in the hospital before being released. The days leading up to surgery were restless. I was nervous and very anxious. I also had periods of feeling sorry for myself in regard to having to resort to surgery to help me get control of my weight..I was sort of feeling like "why me?". Well, obviously I got over those feelings and forged ahead with the surgery.
I woke up in quite a bit of pain. It felt like a hot poker was plunged through my upper left abdomen. The surgeon later explained to me that the pain I was having was most likely from the hernia repair and not the gastrectomy itself. I used my morphine pain pump religiously while I was in the hospital. I also had trouble urinating after the surgery and had to be catheterized a few times before I was able to go on my own. This was attributed to a "sleepy" bladder caused by the anesthesia. The hospital staff was pretty good but I got absolutely no rest there as my vital signs were being checked constantly, which of course is a good thing!
This is my 5th day post op and I have times when I feel ok and others where I feel bloated and sore. I had a horrible case of head hunger last night. My family had taco night but because I am on a full iquid diet for the next 9 days I had to partake in some delicious beef broth...um, NOT! Everything smelled so good, but funny thing was, I wasn't physically hungry at all. The mind is a powerful thing!! I made it through and today is new day. I have been surviving on broth, yogurt, which my tummy doesn't agree with, popsicles, creamed soups and protein drinks. Tea has also been a life saver. I am struggling trying to meet my protein requirements but a family friend (thanks Debra) gave me a good suggestion to help with that. I am going to try a protein smoothie with no sugar added from Topical Smoothie. All in all I am hanging in there..oh yeah I forgot to mention that I have lost 12.8lbs since coming home on Saturday! Till next time...
I woke up in quite a bit of pain. It felt like a hot poker was plunged through my upper left abdomen. The surgeon later explained to me that the pain I was having was most likely from the hernia repair and not the gastrectomy itself. I used my morphine pain pump religiously while I was in the hospital. I also had trouble urinating after the surgery and had to be catheterized a few times before I was able to go on my own. This was attributed to a "sleepy" bladder caused by the anesthesia. The hospital staff was pretty good but I got absolutely no rest there as my vital signs were being checked constantly, which of course is a good thing!
This is my 5th day post op and I have times when I feel ok and others where I feel bloated and sore. I had a horrible case of head hunger last night. My family had taco night but because I am on a full iquid diet for the next 9 days I had to partake in some delicious beef broth...um, NOT! Everything smelled so good, but funny thing was, I wasn't physically hungry at all. The mind is a powerful thing!! I made it through and today is new day. I have been surviving on broth, yogurt, which my tummy doesn't agree with, popsicles, creamed soups and protein drinks. Tea has also been a life saver. I am struggling trying to meet my protein requirements but a family friend (thanks Debra) gave me a good suggestion to help with that. I am going to try a protein smoothie with no sugar added from Topical Smoothie. All in all I am hanging in there..oh yeah I forgot to mention that I have lost 12.8lbs since coming home on Saturday! Till next time...
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Turning 40, Thanksgiving, Insurance Approval and a Surgery Date!
Well, it's been a while since I posted and a lot has happened since then. I am now 40 years old!!! I celebrated my birthday with two of my best girlfriends; all thanks to my a big surprise from my husband who treated us all to a night on the town. I am proud to say that I passed on having any of my birthday cake and was pretty content watching my kids enjoy it! I am not really a big sweet eater anyway, it's pasta, rice and overall portion sizes that are my problem. I made it through Thanksgiving as well and I am really proud of myself as I did not gain a pound and overall I have lost 17lbs since I started this journey!!
I went through a rough patch where my appetite seemed to increase overnight. I had to get really creative about keeping myself busy and not giving in to over eating. I had a bit more fat and sugar on Thanksgiving than I had been typically eating and I think eating that caused me to start craving carbohydrates again. I also think that I am going to struggle with hunger around my "time of the month". Hopefully I will be more social and more active as I continue to lose weight, thereby giving me something else to focus on besides eating. Thanks to the new, tiny stomach I'll have, eating smaller portions won't be a problem!! I experienced my first weight loss stall for about 5 days, but sure enough I started back on the losing track with no problems at all. I am definitely starting to notice a difference in my clothes and how they fit. My bra is too big now and a couple pair of my pants have room around the waist. My family has mentioned that they notice a difference as well. I have been doing well on my own and I would be fibbing if I said that I didn't consider continuing on my current plan and not having surgery, but after much thought and prayer, I realize that surgery is necessary for me to maintain a healthy weight. I have been able to lose weight in the past; significant amounts of weight. However, I have NEVER been successful in keeping it off. God has been good and everything has fallen into line perfectly to lead me to where I am now.
I met with my surgeon a week and a half ago and I got the call this morning that my insurance approved the surgery and I am scheduled for January 5th, 2012, which is right around the corner! I have a lot to do to prepare in terms of grocery shopping for the items I will need for the full liquid and puree stage of my post-op diet as well as getting things organized so my husband doesn't want to jump ship (hahaha). I also have to purchase my vitamins and protein supplements. If there are no complications, my expected hospital stay is just 1 night...that is unbelievable to me. I am hoping for 2 nights because I don't deal with pain very well; I am definitely a chicken when it comes to pain! I had my surgery nutrition instruction so I am all set in regard to what I should be consuming directly after surgery and what my nutritional requirements are in order to stay hydrated and heal properly.
I am excited, nervous and grateful all at the same time. There are so many things in life that I have missed out on that normal weight people take for granted. There has been so much anxiety and worry that has gone into thinking about how I could become a healthier person by losing weight and for once in my adult life I feel a real sense of hope that I am on my way to a more active, healthy and enjoyable lifestyle! Till next time...
I went through a rough patch where my appetite seemed to increase overnight. I had to get really creative about keeping myself busy and not giving in to over eating. I had a bit more fat and sugar on Thanksgiving than I had been typically eating and I think eating that caused me to start craving carbohydrates again. I also think that I am going to struggle with hunger around my "time of the month". Hopefully I will be more social and more active as I continue to lose weight, thereby giving me something else to focus on besides eating. Thanks to the new, tiny stomach I'll have, eating smaller portions won't be a problem!! I experienced my first weight loss stall for about 5 days, but sure enough I started back on the losing track with no problems at all. I am definitely starting to notice a difference in my clothes and how they fit. My bra is too big now and a couple pair of my pants have room around the waist. My family has mentioned that they notice a difference as well. I have been doing well on my own and I would be fibbing if I said that I didn't consider continuing on my current plan and not having surgery, but after much thought and prayer, I realize that surgery is necessary for me to maintain a healthy weight. I have been able to lose weight in the past; significant amounts of weight. However, I have NEVER been successful in keeping it off. God has been good and everything has fallen into line perfectly to lead me to where I am now.
I met with my surgeon a week and a half ago and I got the call this morning that my insurance approved the surgery and I am scheduled for January 5th, 2012, which is right around the corner! I have a lot to do to prepare in terms of grocery shopping for the items I will need for the full liquid and puree stage of my post-op diet as well as getting things organized so my husband doesn't want to jump ship (hahaha). I also have to purchase my vitamins and protein supplements. If there are no complications, my expected hospital stay is just 1 night...that is unbelievable to me. I am hoping for 2 nights because I don't deal with pain very well; I am definitely a chicken when it comes to pain! I had my surgery nutrition instruction so I am all set in regard to what I should be consuming directly after surgery and what my nutritional requirements are in order to stay hydrated and heal properly.
I am excited, nervous and grateful all at the same time. There are so many things in life that I have missed out on that normal weight people take for granted. There has been so much anxiety and worry that has gone into thinking about how I could become a healthier person by losing weight and for once in my adult life I feel a real sense of hope that I am on my way to a more active, healthy and enjoyable lifestyle! Till next time...
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Cardiac Stress Test, Psychological Evaluation and More...
Well, I have lost a grand total of 9 pounds on my pre-op eating plan and I must say that I am quite proud of myself! Surprisingly I haven't felt too deprived. If I crave something I find a way to prepare it in a healthy way. I was getting a bit bored with my snack selections, so I have been on a mission to mix it up a bit. I have only come across one meal I am not a fan of and that's turkey burger on on whole wheat bread thins; talk about gross. The turkey was dry (it was 99% fat free) and bland despite my seasoning it with Mrs. Grass onion soup and other spices. But any way, enough about that, LOL!
I completed the cardiac stress test and they aren't kidding when they say "stress" test"! I thought I was going to cough up a lung I was so out of breath. First I had to lay down on my back with this Darth Vader like mask on that covered my nose and mouth. I had to lay there for fifteen minutes as my baseline metabolic rate was calculated...that is, how many calories I burn while at rest. Then it was treadmill time. Oh my goodness, I learned in ten short minutes just how out of shape I am. I was sore for three days afterward and my left knee is still sore. The results were good though and that is just one more pre-op requirement checked off the list!
I had the pre-op psychological evaluation done as well and from what I can tell, I "passed" and am not too nutty to have surgery. However, I do have to meet with the psychologist in about 2 weeks to discuss the report she will be submitting to Beaumont Hospital for my surgery file. I was asked about my life history, what issues I believe I have with food and questions regarding my knowledge about the surgery I am choosing to have.
I have saved the best news for last! I finally, got a straight answer from my insurance company and....drum roll please.....THE VERTICAL SLEEVE GASTRECTOMY IS COVERED AS A STAND ALONE PROCEDURE and I DO NOT NEED TO COMPLETE A 6 MONTH MEDICALLY SUPERVISED DIET!! Woohooooo!!!
The next step in the process is to see the surgeon after my psychological evaluation is in my file. In the meantime, wish me luck on my lifestyle changes...till next time !
I completed the cardiac stress test and they aren't kidding when they say "stress" test"! I thought I was going to cough up a lung I was so out of breath. First I had to lay down on my back with this Darth Vader like mask on that covered my nose and mouth. I had to lay there for fifteen minutes as my baseline metabolic rate was calculated...that is, how many calories I burn while at rest. Then it was treadmill time. Oh my goodness, I learned in ten short minutes just how out of shape I am. I was sore for three days afterward and my left knee is still sore. The results were good though and that is just one more pre-op requirement checked off the list!
I had the pre-op psychological evaluation done as well and from what I can tell, I "passed" and am not too nutty to have surgery. However, I do have to meet with the psychologist in about 2 weeks to discuss the report she will be submitting to Beaumont Hospital for my surgery file. I was asked about my life history, what issues I believe I have with food and questions regarding my knowledge about the surgery I am choosing to have.
I have saved the best news for last! I finally, got a straight answer from my insurance company and....drum roll please.....THE VERTICAL SLEEVE GASTRECTOMY IS COVERED AS A STAND ALONE PROCEDURE and I DO NOT NEED TO COMPLETE A 6 MONTH MEDICALLY SUPERVISED DIET!! Woohooooo!!!
The next step in the process is to see the surgeon after my psychological evaluation is in my file. In the meantime, wish me luck on my lifestyle changes...till next time !
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
New Eating Plan Update!
I am doing really well with the eating plan the dietitian gave me. I am consuming about 1,400 calories per day; I have been logging everything I am eating and drinking. I am proud to say that I have lost 6lbs since last Friday...WOOOHOOO! I always lose quite a bit of weight during the first week of any diet plan I start so I am sure that the weight loss will slow down, but that is quite alright!
Eating every 3 hours has really helped me not feel deprived and too hungry. I have been amazed at just how much food I have been able to eat. I have actually been out to dinner and had no problems finding something within my eating plan guidelines. I had a lean steak with veggies and it was great. I do admit that it was hard to be in a restaurant setting and not think about all other fattening things on the menu, but the key to my plan is everything in moderation. So it isn't like the higher calorie foods are off limits, but I know they are not really healthy for me and eating them is not in line with what I am trying to accomplish. Now, I am not saying that I will never, ever have dessert again but right now it just isn't a good choice for me because I know I will over do it.
I still haven't had any soda and I am actually beginning to love water...now that is a shocker. For the most part, water used to make gag, LOL. My only source of "discomfort" right now is all of the Halloween candy my kids have around the house...thank goodness for Yoplait and Greek yogurt; those are my sweet treats!
Eating every 3 hours has really helped me not feel deprived and too hungry. I have been amazed at just how much food I have been able to eat. I have actually been out to dinner and had no problems finding something within my eating plan guidelines. I had a lean steak with veggies and it was great. I do admit that it was hard to be in a restaurant setting and not think about all other fattening things on the menu, but the key to my plan is everything in moderation. So it isn't like the higher calorie foods are off limits, but I know they are not really healthy for me and eating them is not in line with what I am trying to accomplish. Now, I am not saying that I will never, ever have dessert again but right now it just isn't a good choice for me because I know I will over do it.
I still haven't had any soda and I am actually beginning to love water...now that is a shocker. For the most part, water used to make gag, LOL. My only source of "discomfort" right now is all of the Halloween candy my kids have around the house...thank goodness for Yoplait and Greek yogurt; those are my sweet treats!
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